If you have ever watched a comedy, an action movie or met a charismatic person you have most certainly also noticed that the main characters always know what to say independently of what the question is about.
This is not a gift they are born with, but rather something they have developed with one of these two methods.
- Trial & Error
- Preparation
Either they have answered the same question so many times they have eventually learned what a good thing to say is or they simply sat down with a piece of paper and thought about what to answer common questions. Your friend, the natural player, who managed to score with every girl probably used the trial & error method while every actor gets a ready to use script.
My preferred method
I did use the trial & error method for several years and eventually developed, in my opinion, great answers to several common questions but it takes unnecessary long time and sometimes you forget great answers.
For this reason I am now using the preparation method. If I get a difficult question on a party I simply save it on my mobile phone and then the next day try to figure out a great answer. The next time someone asks the same thing I suddenly know exactly how to answer and often also joke about it.
Learn main points, not sentences
Just remember to never learn your answers sentence by sentence since there is a chance it will sound rehearsed and eventually someone will probably point it out for you. Instead you should write down main points and try to build an answer on them on the spot.
Common questions
Here are a few common questions to get you started.
- What’s your name?
- How old are you?
- You’re not my cup of tea.
- What are you working with?
- What do you do in your spare time?
- Thank you.
- Are you a man or a mouse?
- I’m to old / to young for you.
- Why doesn’t you drink tonight?
Remember that this method is not only for regular questions but also something to help you be prepared when someone turns you down, etc.
Group discussion
Your answers should always be personal built on your beliefs, but feel free to share common questions you get asked.
Also check out the rest of my posts on personal development.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
nice article!!! Stefan
You write very well. I enjoy read the whole article above. By the way, trial and error method work best =)
My method is much simpler, for me. Think about the person, their current state of mind, recent things that have happened to them, how they answered last time, and many other things along those lines. Deduce from those what route you should take, be it aggressive or relaxed or whatever you feel is best for the situation. Don’t be afraid to say what comes to your head. Essentially after years of having the conversation before it happens in my head using my preemptive thoughts on what they will say, I almost always know what someone will say/how they will react. It’s a very useful skill, I can get most girls/jobs/ and best of all keep everyone laughing all the time. Always knowing what to say is awesome. But decent article though it takes a lot more work than that to get to a useful level like mine.
Dunno what I’d say to “You’re not my cup of tea.” That’s rather blunt. I doubt anyone I’d be interested in would ever say that to me, but who knows?
“I’m too old / too young for you.”
Hmm… Only responses I can think of are, “You sure?” and “You feel you’re at a different place in life?”
Good suggestion. I’m in sales and I’ve never thought of approaching clients in this way. I do have certain scripts I use but I have not been archiving typical questions/answers.